The Essence of Meetmums

As a first post, we wanted to write something that would explain in some way the reason behind this website.

We received an email from Ailish Irvine in reply to our petition to share the experiences of parents who set up a playgroup or a children’s related business, with the hope that this will inspire other parents to do something interesting for themselves and their community.

Ailish is a mother of 3 living in County Mayo.  She ran her own playgroup when her children where toddlers and we think that her story highlights the essence of Meetmums.ie

Here are Ailish’s words:

Ailish Irvine

The Year was 2004. I had cleaned the kitchen, done the washing, fed the family. I stared at Barney as he sang back that he loved me and I told him that I loved him too for the millionth time and I knew we had to part ways very shortly. It was beginning to feel like Dr. Phil was becoming a family member so I thought it was time that Amy and I got out of the house and broadened our horizons.

But, where do you go? Living on maternity pay restricts the shopping trips and there are only so many people who are happy to see you coming with the buggy in tow and enough equipment for a military operation. One morning I had a conversation with a friend of mine, Caitlin. She was at home with her third child and talking to her was the catalyst that set everything going.

“What about a toddler group”? “There isn’t one anywhere” we commented. But, “There could be.”

After a bit of brainstorming and wondering how we would go about it, we started with the simple task of putting up posters in places where mothers hung out. Now, contrary to public opinion, it was not coffee shops, shopping centres or amusement parks, but places we knew they would definitely be: Public Health Nurse, GP waiting rooms, Pharmacies, Primary Schools and pre-school notice boards. We contacted our local indoor play facility and they were most helpful in supporting us. A date was set now and all we had to do was to wait.

The first morning we waited and wondered if anyone would walk in the door. Slowly but surely, shy faces with buggies appeared around the door as people enquired nervously if they had arrived at the toddler group. As the mothers piled in the door we breathed a sigh of relief and knew that everything was going to be OK. We discovered there was an abundance of people all in the same boat.

We arranged to meet every Thursday morning and it wasn’t long before we had about twenty people attending the sessions. We were so fortunate to have a facility that had a kitchen, a supervised play area and all the toys you could need. This is often not the experience of other groups who have to start sometimes with an empty room in a community centre. We set up a committee, a bank account and we applied for grants.

There was a whole range of people out there who were willing to provide us with help and support. Laura who worked with the HSE came on board to advise us about applying for funding and activities we could do. The County Childcare committees provide with a range of training courses in childcare and are always there to help with queries.

The interesting thing we found out as the group grew and people made friends was how isolated so many people felt. The number of people moving to new areas or estates where they had no family network or support groups was huge. The number of women who have no contact with other adult from the moment their partner walks out the door in the morning until they are back in the evening is huge. People can be just as isolated in small towns as they are in big cities. The key thing is that they feel alone and wonder why they feel that way. The toddler group is so much more than a meeting place for mums and kids. It’s a place of refuge, a place to laugh and a place where you can go to the toilet while someone who understands how important is being able to go in peace will offer to mind your child for five minutes.

As the years have gone by, many of our original group still meet up for summer outings and Christmas nights out. A social life was created for a lot of women too. The kids who met in the toddler group knew many faces on their first day in play school. That first day in “big school” was not as daunting as the toddler group kid provided a reassuring smile and a friendly welcome. That wasn’t something we planned but it was a wonderful outcome.

To anyone reading this out there, what I discovered is, if you want to get anything done, don’t sit back and wait for someone else to do it. Have a conversation. That’s all it takes.

So why not give it a go. If there is no group near you, take the initiative and set it up. It starts with mums doing it for mums and the worse that can happen is that you meet new mums, get a social life and lots of new friends for your children.

Former EFL teacher Ailish Irvine used her wealth of experience and skills to help people train themselves back to work at the Mayo Intercultural Action, a voluntary group that helps immigrants develop the skills needed to find work. She recently took the plunge to set up her own training company, social enterprise providing classes for adults and children www.ailishirvinetraining.com

Have you ever run a parent & toddler group? Or any other type of playgroup? Would you like to share your story and maybe inspire other parents? If so, get in touch, we would love to hear from you.